Pressure Of Counter Offers
Pressure Of Counter Offers:
By Kevin T. Buckley, CPC
the situation: You are submitting your resignation with the sincere
hope that your present employer will accept your career objectives.
You are expecting them to graciously give you their blessing as you
head off for new challenges.
a minute. They are frowning at you and saying they canít accept your
decision to leave. They are telling you how sad it will be to see
you go; how they canít do without you, and how you are leaving all
your friends behind. They are looking at you with disappointment.
They are upset about your decision. You are letting them down and at
an important time of the year, too. You didnít expect this and you
donít know what to say.
wasnít the way it was supposed to go. Why are they giving you this
reaction? All you want is to leave with goodwill and their best
wishes for your continued success. Why arenít they accepting what
you are saying?
are now involved in the counter-offer process. They are indicating
their refusal to accept that you are leaving. You didnít anticipate
an emotional reaction that seems out of place. How are you going to
handle this with tact and diplomacy and still keep your goal in
sight? In the counter-offer process emotional manipulation is used
to make you change your mind. Management appeals to your loyalty,
your sense of guilt or buyer remorse and tries to find your weak
point to convince you to stay.
is the day after you submitted your resignation. You are getting the
cold shoulder. They are grilling you like a B-movie perpetrator
about which competitor you are joining, how much salary you are
getting, and why you are even thinking of considering a move.
You are sitting in front of a senior executive and he is patiently
painting for you a picture of how great it is going to be for you if
you decide to stay.
3. Colleagues from all over the company are calling you and telling
you how sorry they are to see you leaving the team. They are taking
you out to lunch individually or as a group and over coffee and
friendly conversation they are probing your motivations and weak
points, to find the chinks in your armour. This is a common tactic
to make you reconsider your choice based on the emotional
attachments you may have formed with certain people in the company.
4. Your employer announces to you that they will use the opportunity
of your resignation to finally give in to your previously unmet
requests for a raise. They are assuring you that they were going to
do this anyway. You are starting to think that they are finally
beginning to recognize your worth. What has actually happened is
that you are putting pressure on them and they are reacting to it.
They are facing the prospect of replacing you. It is cheaper and
less of a problem to offer more money to match or exceed your offer
and hope youíll take the bait. You havenít received the extra money
because they think you deserve it, you have the extra money because
they feel they have no choice but to cough it up in order to keep
you. Otherwise, you would already have it.
is another common approach: your employer doesnít have extra money
to match/exceed your offer right now, so he is promising that soon
things will improve; there are new projects developing and if you
can just hang on a little longer you can be involved and maybe move
upwards in responsibility or authority. If you leave now however,
well, youíll lose out. That is the promise of future rewards offered
in lieu of cash. This is one of the toughest counter-offers to
employer is responsible for hiring, firing and developing staff.
Management has invested money in you and your training. They donít
want to lose that investment. You are good at your job and customers
and staff like you. People leave from companies all the time. You
have made your decision but now you are starting to question
yourself and why you are leaving.
just wonít quit pressuring you to stay. You are confused and a
little ticked off that they wonít let matters be. Stay firm in your
integrity and you wonít be bought by promises that things will get
better, or that you will be given the opportunities that werenít
available for you previously. Donít forget why you chose to leave in
the first place. Will you have to resign to get what you want next
is hard because you do have friends there. You like some of the
people you work with. It isnít easy to leave people that you have
good feelings about. You arenít alone. Many people are experiencing
the same internal tug of war that you are feeling. Good friendships
survive these situations. You donít have to cut all ties.
know that the future is waiting for you at your new employer. You
understand that it is time to move on. You have made your decision
carefully after weighing all the factors. There is a transition time
between tendering your resignation and joining the new firm.
Remember that you have at most two weeks to go until you step
forward to your future. It is natural to feel a little nervous.
Change requires courage and confidence. You have made the right
decision. Your employer has his/her companyís interests foremost in
mind. This is natural. You are giving your employer a problem to
solve. They donít want to replace you. They may genuinely like you
as a person and want you to stay but ultimately they know that
people do move on in their careers. They did also to arrive here.
believing in yourself and your decision-making despite the pressures
put upon you to stay. Your decision does have validity; it is
your decision after all. Your boss wasnít born in the company.
He/she didnít grow up there. He/she came from another company and
made a decision to get there, just as you have made a decision to
See why they are doing
this. It isnít personal. They have a job to do as a manager to keep
staff. It is important to keep relations friendly and to stop
further discussions about what you need to stay. You know what you
want. You tell them you are happy to wrap up your work, and that you
have fond memories of working there. In a friendly yet firm way you
ask them to respect your decision. Your decision is final.
You ask them how you can get on with transferring your files and
tying up loose ends. You donít have to burn any bridges.
Keep your eyes on your
goal. Your goal is a brighter future with new challenges and new
opportunities to learn and grow. That is where you want to be. Make
This is your future.